Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Well this term has been there for centuries but when it intruded into my life,i realised that it was cruel.I mean all of it,the money factor,the insult ,the useless guy thing.Sometimes the pain is so much that it's almost unbearable.I don't want to even leave my house for the reason i have to answer the questions to total strangers about my hanging future since they appear to be my family friend.When guys who actually have a job (actually in the army)who back in your School days was a good for nothing guy turns out to be a family bread winner and good at it,he just walks up to you and go...don't you have a job ...that's bad...i mean you were good at studies and stuff you know..!!It only helps to further throw you into the deep depths of inferiority complex.The Truth is i don't feel motivated to work in the field that i have studied.It seemed to be the right decision back then...but now it has revealed itself to be a very bad one.I don't know how someone can work for something that he doesn't feel passionate about.Is life about throwing away all your dreams and securing the future which may never come.These questions keep ringing in my head,only that i don't have a clue about answers.sometimes i feel i just have to let it go and move on.But my previous working experiences still give me nightmares.5 years back my Life was so good...like it was a good old Technicolor movie,u had a life u now only can dream of,everyone was happy,the world was bright and beautiful and life was shiny and full of dreams and hopes.Then all of a sudden you grew up and all of it went dark.Dark raging clouds that loomed everywhere,the earthquake,the thunderstorms,the torrential rain..that kinda describes what i feel about my life now.My Dad reminds me of how crooked his relatives were in the past by trying to nab his money off and how he wish to have revenge through me being rich,My mom reminds me about how she have to be able to be proud of her son in the Public.Even though these arises out of affection ,that's certainly not helping.Instead it irritates about the fact that i'm 23 years old and i'm still fucking useless.Sometimes i think it's the price you pay for not making your own decisions.The Feeling that if you had done what you wanted to then you would have been better thing it hurts ...it hurts real bad.U can only look back while moving forward till it fades into the dark.
Posted by zenode at 11:10 PM
The Old Cat and Mouse game is Back.But this time it's Pinarayi Vijayan and V.S.Achuthanandan.I really don't what Pinarayi the cat is trying to do.But if he's trying to get away from SNC Lavalin case by questioning even the Governor,that only accounts to rousing more suspicions about his involvement in it.And V.S on the otherhand is trying to tumble down Pinarayi from Party Powerholds.So neither his intentions are pure.But i guess the latter one is better.So i stand by V.S.
Posted by zenode at 1:06 PM